©2018 by Amanda Lorraine.

~a love i never knew i deserved~

Dear You,


As the sun paints color to all that is dull, you paint my soul with life that I have never known. I wake up next to a masterpiece after a night of being held by the most pure and innocent hands that act as a shield to all that is evil. Life peeks through the blinds and the birds demand our attention as they sing. As I gaze into your half open eyes, I realize that my life is now full of a kind of enchantment that accents what was already beautiful. A meal is filling even without desert but ending an evening with a taste of sweetness adds so much to the night. This is also true with you. Yes, I smiled without you, and I felt alive by myself. Now, however, you are my sweetness. To be cliché, you are the cherry on top of an already fine ice cream. You are the marshmallow treat by an already warm fire. You are the full moon in the starry sky. You do not complete me, nor do I need you. However, you add so much to my already blessed life that I would not want to substitute you with any amount of riches or glories.


Our thoughts hold hands with each other on almost anything we talk about. Our souls have met for the first time in this life but will spend all our next lives searching for each other. Most people feel as though their souls fell in love in a different life already, and they have spent their entire life as a split painting trying to find the other half. Darling, we get to see this magnum opus be molded from scratch by the hands of Elion. I know it is He who has spent the last eternity crafting every movement of every creation to ensure that the very existence of our flame could ignite.


I can feel the cells of my love flow through my veins freely as nothing between us is forced. I refuse to brand you or hold you captive. You are only mine if you give yourself the same way I am yours because I give myself to you. I will not prepare for you a prison cell, but a home in my heart that is decorated with acceptance and support. I hope to always give you the feeling of coziness of sitting by the fireplace drinking hot chocolate on a snow-filled winter day.


I feel like every time we are caught admiring one another, we are the cause of a new galaxy somewhere in the universe. If God’s love was powerful enough to create our universe, then our love must be creating galaxies one after another. I would promise forever, but forever ends. I do not own the future, and the past is long gone. I offer you my now because that is all I have. I promise to give you my moments one after another until I have no more moments to give. I will sew every one of them together so that in the end, you have a movie of all our moments that you can wrap yourself in on chilly days. Our happiness will radiate from it giving you light on your darkest nights. Quadeshtu will guard it, shielding you from the hatred of the world and your own psyche. I will stitch my initials in it to remind you who it is that you made smile a more radiant smile than she ever could imagine. Who you made weak with laughter. Whose demons you devoured.


You are my warrior, my sunlight, and my starry sky. You are my everything, and My Everything is in you.


From,

Me