©2018 by Amanda Lorraine.

Lyric-Styled Poetry

Dreaming at the Window

Rainfall on a sunny day

where the stars are hiding in the light

Angels singing poetry

In the souls resting in the night

Oh where are the seconds stored?

In the hearts of those who hold on?

Oh where is infinite bliss found?

In the peace from those who let go?

It's the cry of the heart and mind

The cry of the heart and mind

Raindrops on my window pane

Does it feel the wounds I conceal?

Oh I put my knife to rest

As I dance along in this wondrous life

Oh where are the smiles stored?

In the memories of the ones who saw?

Oh where can  the clouds be touched?

In a dream that lasts an eternity?

It's the cry of the heart and mind

The cry of the heart and mind

The Graduate

My house is crowded, let me go home

All outdated people trying not to be alone

Giving advice from the bottom of their glass

Living poor, wealthy lives having been the top of their class

With painted sincerity melted off their faces

Never see a dead flower living in their vases

They see portraits instead of mirrors

So they can't see their aging any clearer

My diploma's in a fire

All of my professors are proven to be liars

Since I am in my room waiting to be hired

Spending time gaining experience would have been wiser

I notice there's no laugh lines on their faces

Their flowers are pretty even in broken vases

There's an empty future in plastics

All the money buys an empty chalice

They laugh at the man with a dirty cup

Collecting stories with the pennies as they come

Even when he's cold and wishes to end his life

At least he'll die with a beating heart he gave his wife

At least he had a loving wife

At least he had a heart and lived a life

Angel wings means a good life

Angel wings means he'll see his wife

#PrayForNashville

Let us bow our heads

And pray to our Creator

For the clouds turned red

And we now need our Savior

Just some miles away

They lived through the nightmare

Just as the calendar changed

Some thousand lives unprepared

For some it was so close

But others weren't so lucky

They've now got damaged homes

But our love is overwhelming

We can heal

And thrive

Start a brand new life

For the ones

Whose eyes

Saw a glimpse of the light

Let us give our hands

And lift their crosses

Let's do what we can

To repair all their losses

In this tragedy

We throw away labels

We provide what they need

From our hearts to the table

We can heal

And thrive

Start a brand new life

For the ones

Whose eyes

Saw a glimpse of the light

Let me give my pillow

And blanket and cupboard

Recovery may be slow

But by our hearts, you'll be covered

We can heal

And thrive

Start a brand new life

For the ones 

Whose eyes

Saw a glimpse of the light

Baby

Baby gets up with the light of the world

Baby wears what she's told and her hair curled

Baby serves to satisfy the hungry heart

Baby wants to live, but paying rent makes it hard

Oh, Baby put away your smile for a moment

Be true to your soul and be protected from the judgement

Baby be a dreamer

Oh, be a dreamer

Baby gets tips but they mean they mean nothing

Baby's got a thin wallet; can't buy her girl nothing

Oh, Baby put away your smile for a moment

Be true to your soul and be protected from the judgement

Baby be a dreamer

Oh, be a dreamer

Baby sees the sunlight but lives in the midnight

Oh, Baby put away your smile for a moment

Be true to your soul and be protected from the judgement

Baby be a dreamer

Oh, be a dreamer

No One Replied

Called all my friends, only took a few minutes

No one answered. Guess their lives are for business

The doctor gave me vitamins to take

He said the screen isn't the sun, and I've made a mistake

So I got my keys and won't stop

Not until the tires feel sand or a mountain top

I'll live as a mermaid and keep my tail behind me

I'll laugh with strangers and be with friends in poetry

How can a new door open if it's locked?

I don't need a door in the woods I've walked

Doctor, Doctor, you know how to keep me alive

But your degree doesn't tell you nothing about life

The ripples of the water over the rocks

Fill me more than the boxes on blocks

Mr. Fox showed me a new home

Where the songs of birds make me feel not alone

Settle Down on Mars

I rest my weary head 
on my cloudy bed
And drift away to 
a dream of you

I silence my restless heart
on my savior’s arm
to an eternity of
starlight and love

I’ll sail away with you
on a shooting star
to jupiter and all its moons
and settle down on mars
and settle down on mars

I rest my weary soul
until she feels whole
and we can dance to
the music of love true

I silence my restless mind
on the gold I find
on your lips and touch
until I melt too much

I’ll sail away with you
on a shooting star
to jupiter and all its moons
and settle down on mars
and settle down on mars

Kindness and a Hug

She was scared and she was different
Built a shield to fight off sharp words
She was honest but they wouldn’t listen
Wanted to fix her broken wings and fly with the birds

But what if the witch was kind and misunderstood
What if the fixed wasn’t broken, just had a different look
And what if the bully didn’t know how to love?
What if cruelty needed kindness and a hug?
What if the world just needs kindness and a hug?

He was hurt and he was condemned
Never shown love didn’t mean bruises and blood
He couldn’t show the smile he meant
Wanted to build a castle but got dirty in the mud

But what if the witch was kind and misunderstood
What if the fixed wasn’t broken, just had a different look
And what if the bully didn’t know how to love?
What if cruelty needed kindness and a hug?
What if the world just needs kindness and a hug?

What if it’s 
only a plot twist
The angry hand
the gentle man
The different face
The beautiful race
Everyone embraced
All were embraced

But what if the witch was kind and misunderstood
What if the fixed wasn’t broken, just had a different look
And what if the bully didn’t know how to love?
What if cruelty needed kindness and a hug?
What if the world just needs kindness and a hug?

Missed; Loved

Darling, where are you tonight?

A little sweetheart like you deserves a fight

A chance // A hand

Baby, you hold an entire universe

In your heart and in every word

Do you know that you are missed; you are loved?

You  know that someone's waiting for your kiss, for your hug?

Do you know

You light is where the sunflowers grow?

Darling, how are you tonight?

A precious diamond like you deserves calming light

A shelter // A sweater

Baby, you are made up of daisies

And sewn together with eternities

Do you know that you are missed; you are loved?

Do you know that someone's waiting for your kiss, for your hug?

Do you know

You light is where the sunflowers grow?

Someone is longing for your rivers to run through their soul

Someone is waiting for you to set fire to their heart of coal

Someone is counting the days until you make their dead flowers bloom

Someone is breathless for you

Match Stick

I felt safe in a dangerous place

Your arms kept me warm and I thought honesty was written on your face

But I was wrong to believe you

You live to deceive the moon

Shining so bright

Until I saw your hidden flashlight

I almost hugged the sun thinking it was you

My wars were almost won until I met you

I would've drown to give you life

But now I'm dying from your knife

I set myself on fire to keep your heart lit

Then you threw me out like a burnt out match stick

I forced a home out of a cave

Convinced myself there's heat in the snow and I tried to find love in the hate

But, God, I should have believed you

I tried to deceive the truth

Content in darkness

But I can't be loved by the heartless

 

I almost hugged the sun thinking it was you

My wars were almost won until I met you

I would've drown to give you life

But now I'm dying from your knife

I set myself on fire to keep your heart lit

Then you threw me out like a burnt out match stick

It's a secret

You can't see it

My eyes are a desert in the day

My broken pieces are my weakness

My knife holds my sign saying "I'm okay"

I almost hugged the sun thinking it was you

My wars were almost won until I met you

I would've drown to give you life

But now I'm dying from your knife

I set myself on fire to keep your heart lit

Then you threw me out like a burnt out match stick

I've come a long way from being a fool

I can look the devil in the eye and not be drawn to you

Here's to Goodbye

Once upon a lie // He wore a prince disguise

Dressed with chivalry, dignity, and a tie

He had made his move // Said, "To you, my dear, I'm true"

Then why do you wear her perfume

And her lipstick, too?

Here's to goodbye! // Cheers to the lies!

To the pressures you put me through

Trying to make me sin for you

Goodbye to the fights // To the nights

You had no right to manipulate my mind

Here's to the freedom to choose my own life

Here's to goodbye!

Once upon a truth // You were my whole view

With the kisses and the misses and the "I love you"

You had another rose // Kept me out of the know

I had melted though your heart is snow

Now I'm a sculpture you don't have the pleasure to know

Here's to goodbye! // Cheers to the lies!

To the criminal you turned out to be

Too bad my kiss couldn't set you free

Goodbye to the drama // To your crazy mama

I'll send you the bill when I find the cure to this trauma

Here's to the freedom to choose my own life

Here's to goodbye!

You tried to get me to sing like the color of the sky

You tried to convince me there's truth in your lies

The absence of you is my salvation

The absence of you is cause for celebration

Here's to goodbye! // Cheers to the lies!

To the forbidden affair that never was

Running from those you called "just friendly ones"

Goodbye to the fights // To the nights

You held my innocence by the neck

And chained her to the bed

Here's to the freedom to choose my own life

Here's to goodbye

Funny

Funny how the one who'd give you her last dollar

Is the one you left there into deep, dirty water

Funny how the one who'd sell her soul to save you

Is the one you tied to the train tracks as it came into view

Oh darling, I don't think you stabbed my back quite hard enough // I still have a little blood in me

I don't think you burned me enough // Please, set fire to my blackened casing

One more needle, a little more salt // A little more violence with that assault

One more string, one more bed // you tried to kill me, but I'm already dead

Funny how the one who built you an empire

Is the one you burned down with raging fires

Funny how the one who discovered you like a universe

Is the one you spread words about, the one you cursed

Oh darling, I don't think you stabbed my back quite hard enough // I still have a little blood in me

I don't think you burned me enough // Please, set fire to my blackened casing

One more needle, a little more salt // A little more violence with that assault

One more string, one more bed // you tried to kill me, but I'm already dead

One more needle, a little more salt // Tell me again how it's all my fault

One more string, one more bed // A little more silence and enough would be said

Oh darling, I don't think you stabbed my back quite hard enough // I still have a little blood in me

I don't think you burned me enough // Please, set fire to my blackened casing

One more needle, a little more salt // A little more violence with that assault

One more string, one more bed // you tried to kill me, but I'm already dead

Funny how when you make up the rules

The biggest loser ends up being you

The Moon

I only love the moon

He hides himself, too

All the stars compete with him

But he calmly gives a crescent grin

Why should he struggle for the spotlight

When everyone waits for him every night

He fights for the light

Wins a little more every night

When he's broken, out of sight

That's his time to sit and cry

No matter how hard it gets

He smiles on his side in his bed

Ask me, "Who are you?"

I am the moon

He has his time to shine

Everyone calls him a dime

But when he looks around

He's drifted too high off the ground

He's engulfed by eternal darkness

He sees stars are too far and cries in loneliness

He fights for the light

Wins a little more every night

When he's broken, out of sight

That's his time to sit and cry

No matter how hard it gets

He smiles on his side in his bed

Ask me, "Who are you?"

I am the moon

Sometimes I can't see him, but I know he's there

He gives enemies a chance; he always plays fair

I can tell him all my secrets, although he doesn't like to share

He deserves a moon like himself, but you can't love a mirror

He might feel alone, but for me he's always near

He fights for the light

Wins a little more every night

When he's broken, out of sight

That's his time to sit and cry

No matter how hard it gets

He smiles on his side in his bed

Ask me, "Who are you?"

I am the moon

I Know It

Another letter from a ghost that I don't know anymore

Sayin' that you miss me, but you're probably just bored

You say you love me, and I know it

Because the flowers on the floor say it

So I opened the door tonight

Now I'm in the devil's sight

Baby, No!

I said no!

I don't care what I'm wearing

Put down the drink we've been sharing

You love me and I know it

(I'm worthless and I know it)

Another stained dress I can't return anymore

I need more makeup because I 'hit myself on the door'

You say you love me, let you show it

I wish my tears were strong enough to stop it

So I drank a bottle of whiskey

Maybe I'll forget how hard you hit me

Baby, No!

I said no!

I don't care what I'm wearing

Put down the drink we've been sharing

You love me and I know it

(I'm worthless and I know it)

Beat me; scratch me; choke me harder

Beat me; scratch me, choke me 'til I can't breathe

Beat me; scratch me; choke me harder

Beat me; scratch me; choke me 'fore you leave

Baby, No!

I said no!

I don't care what I'm wearing

Put down the drink we've been sharing

You love me and I know it

(I'm worthless and I know it)

On the Ground

Breathe like we've got forever

Touch me like we've got time

Every kiss makes me remember

We were soulmates in another life

The stars sing in silence as we dance to their sound

The midnight lot is our dance floor. Your sweater, my ballgown

If I trip, let me fall; then meet me on the ground

Let's never leave our bed

Pretend the sun only sets

The sheets with your heat around me

Your love overflows and drowns me

The stars sing in silence as we dance to their sound

The midnight lot is our dance floor. Your sweater, my ballgown

If I trip, let me fall; then meet me on the ground

I live to give my love

My love is yours; my love is you

I live to give my love

Love is my reward; my reward, my love, is you

The stars sing in silence as we dance to their sound

The midnight lot is our dance floor. Your sweater, my ballgown

If I trip, let me fall; then meet me on the ground

Stupid Girl

The longing in her crystal eyes

Is a secret too strong to hide

It's crazy how you meet a stranger out of the blue

And they end up meaning the universe to you

How was I to foresee

The end to your loving me?

I'm such a stupid girl

Should've known better than to turn away a golden heart

What a foolish girl!

Now I'm the one on the streets playing a broken harp

I'll never forgive myself for not being her

I'm just another girl

The tears melt her crystal eyes

She's only in his arms at night

It's crazy how you meet a stranger out of the blue

And you realize the only stranger is you

How am I to take back

A cynical, selfish act?

I'm such a stupid girl

Should've known better than to turn away a golden heart

What a foolish girl!

Now I'm the one on the streets playing a broken harp

I'll never forgive myself for not being her

I'm just another girl

I'm so sorry I'm too late

I wish my heart would work with fate

But you get butterflies around her

I'm always going to be just another stupid girl...

I'm such a stupid girl

Should've known better than to turn away a golden heart

What a foolish girl!

Now I'm the one on the streets playing a broken harp

I'll never forgive myself for not being her

I'm just another girl

 

It's crazy how you meet a strange out of the blue

And they end up taking the universe from you

Like I'm Heartbroken

You know I ain't cryin' over anyone

I ain't tryin' to win a boy back

I ain't missin' anyone

And I've got my life on track

Yeah, I know that you know that I don't have a reason

But you know that I know I love a stormy season

Tonight I'm going in

Wearin' my favorite dress, my makeup, and I'm drinkin'

I hope I don't remember that I've got nothing to forget

But I know that you know that I'm drinkin' like I'm heartbroken

You know I ain't checkin' my phone

Waitin' for a ghost to come alive

I'm not insecure that I'm all alone

I sure as hell ain't caught up in a fight

Yeah, I know that you know that I don't have a reason

But you know that I know I love a stormy season

Tonight I'm going in

Wearin' my favorite dress, my makeup, and I'm drinkin'

I hope I don't remember that I've got nothing to forget

But I know that you know that I'm drinkin' like I'm heartbroken

I ain't tryin' to get strangers' eyes on me

Sometimes a night to cry is all I need 

Yeah, I know that you know that I don't have a reason

But you know that I know I love a stormy season

Tonight I'm going in

Wearin' my favorite dress, my makeup, and I'm drinkin'

I hope I don't remember that I've got nothing to forget

But I know that you know that I'm drinkin' like I'm heartbroken

1 Mistake = Self-Hate

Don't awaken the monster I put to rest

The mirror isn't broken; it's the person inside it

I took so long to heal; now I'm bleeding out my chest

The monster became my friend; I confide in it

When everyone's dreaming

Lightning is trying to find me

Critics throw their swords, and their words, and their hate at me

But their truth's are what haunts me

At the end of the day when the moon wakes up

I'm just a would've been, could've been, almost, so close, just not quite good enough

 

I'm a silent lamb to the demons

I'll never be more, always be less than a heathen 

Disappointment radiates from the eyes that hired me

Their words falling down drown me in the sea

 

When everyone's dreaming

Lightning is trying to find me

Critics throw their swords, and their words, and their hate at me

But their truth's are what haunts me

At the end of the day when the moon wakes up

I'm just a would've been, could've been, almost, so close, just not quite good enough

When I grow up I want to be smiling through my eyes

When I grow up I want to be the world's source of light

When I grow up

just want to be enough

When everyone's dreaming

Lightning is trying to find me

Critics throw their swords, and their words, and their hate at me

But their truth's are what haunts me

At the end of the day when the moon wakes up

I'm just a would've been, could've been, almost, so close, just not quite good enough

Teddy Bear

Sweetie, I know // You let your walls tumble down

And the snow // Reminds you of a time of no sounds

Just endless love being handed out

They say // "It's better to give than to receive"

But sometimes // It's nice to know the feeling of half of what you gave around

Don't make a sound

He might hear that tear splash onto the ground

It's easy for me to say, "Just move on. You'll find someone better."

But reality check: he's gone, and you left your favorite sweater

Don't sweat it; turn on your song and sit down by the fire

Grab your Teddy Bear and don't think about Mister Liar

Sweetie, I heard // He loves this girl in New York City

I know it hurts // Like you're being hit by every knife thrown while you're spinning

I give you every ounce of my pity

It's easy for me to say, "Be strong. You know you're beautiful"

But reality check: I'm wrong; insecurities take over your skull

Don't worry. Rest your head on a cloud and blind your eyes

Hug your Teddy Bear and forget about Mister Criticize

He has a way of making lies sound so good

But he threw every piece of your heart to the wind and now it's lost in the woods

Now you're a fallen leaf whose color's dim

You're longing for a love, but all you see is him

Well it's easy for me to say, "Get back up. You'll blossom into something better"

'Cause reality check: Your love has made you flower made of gold

Walk away. Find your smile again and step out that door

Leave the Teddy Bear and run into Mister More

Price of Peace

Friends are like stars // They're always supposed to be there

But when all the stars fall, and the sky runs bare

There's only one big light drowning in a sea of depression

At least waves come crashing back like they have a confession...

I've got holes in my chest from all the bullet wounds

Years from now, our memories may be exhumed

Shame on you for starting the wildfire

[Shame on me for taking down my barbed-wire]

We step to the rail to look at the view and see something nice

There's nothing pretty about a world that's evil and overpriced

There's not a thing as beautiful as death until we jump off the edge

Then we see that death is the only ugly thing, and we forget to dredge

I've got holes in my chest from all the bullet wounds

Years from now, our memories may be exhumed

Shame on you for starting the wildfire

[Shame on me for taking down my barbed-wire]

Everybody in the world loves you

except for those people you expected to stay true

One day, my tombstone will read:

"I had to bleed, but that's the price of peace"

I've got holes in my chest from all the bullet wounds

Years from now, our memories may be exhumed

Shame on you for starting the wildfire

[Shame on me for taking down my barbed-wire]

Me or Jack

Babe, you don't notice 'cause your eyes can't see past the whiskey

But babe, you've bruised my heart and I just might leave

I'm about to ride my black saddle down to corner's creek

You can keep your four roses 'cause soon I'll be passed Kings County

Baby, I'll stay if you can tell me that

You love me more than you love your Jack

Babe, you don't know this 'cause your red eyes can't see that I'm blue

But babe, I'm feeling more alone the longer I stay with you

I'm about to ride my black saddle down to corner's creek

You can keep your four roses 'cause soon I'll be passed Kings County

Baby, I'll stay if you can tell me that

You love me more than you love your Jack

Your Jack Daniel's and your Jim Beam

Your Old Crow and your Knob Creek

Babe, your heart is knocking on death's door, and every shot's to kill

I'm going to find my lost spirits under the midnight moon on my way to Heaven's Hill

I'm about to ride my black saddle down to corner's creek

You can keep your four roses 'cause soon I'll be passed Kings County

Baby, I'll stay if you can tell me that

You love me more than you love your Jack

No More; No Way

No more waiting for you to wait on me

For you to see all I am, and for you to give me everything

No more "If I do this, maybe you'll give me that"

Lord knows what I gave you I won't get back

No more getting stood up

Because now I'm standing up

No more getting walked on 'cause now I'm walking away

No more of this; no more that. No more; no way

No more "How'd you sleep" 'cause I don't care

You're sleeping just fine knowing you're my nightmare

No more getting stood up

Because now I'm standing up

No more getting walked on 'cause now I'm walking away

No more of this; no more that. No more; no way

No more waiting on you; I'm waiting on me

I know who I am, and I deserve everything

Like the Devil is not Here

Pick up a daisy and keep it in your heart

A daisy can heal you when you’re torn apart

But pick up a weed and look what you’ve done

You just let the devil in and handed him a gun

 

Be careful, child, even while the monsters throw themselves at you

Your fate is what you choose

So hold hands with fear

and dance like the devil is not here

 

Pick up a rose and hand it to the sun

A rose can heal those that are shunned

But careful of the thorns; you will find

not all who are pretty are kind

 

Be careful, child, even while the monsters throw themselves at you

Your fate is what you choose

So hold hands with fear

and dance like the devil is not here

 

Even though others are careless with knives

be strong and ask about individual lives

Not all enemies have it easy

Not all pageant queens think their pretty

And those who have stone walls

May not look shy at all

 

Be careful, child, even while the monsters throw themselves at you

Your fate is what you choose

So hold hands with fear

and dance like the devil is not here

The Root of All Evil

At the root of all the evil in my life I find myself

Everything I touch turns to ashes, turns to dust, turns to Hell

Well maybe I’m just broken and all the pieces scratch me

Or maybe I’m just whining about the words that attack me

 

I’m the root of all the evil in my life; how did I not know

I should remember, memorize all the kind things the world has shown

Someone come and fix me, kiss me, tell me that I’m pretty

But nobody can fix me, or kill me; not until I heal me

At the root of all evil, don’t you know?

At the root of all evil, there is hope

 

I always tend to start things, but I never can end a day

I start to love, to hate, to heal, to wait

If I fall in love, well, does that not hurt?

And if I start to hate, is that burden not worse?

 

I’m the root of all the evil in my life; how did I not know

I should remember, memorize all the kind things the world has shown

Someone come and fix me, kiss me, tell me that I’m pretty

But nobody can fix me, or kill me; not until I heal me

At the root of all evil, don’t you know?

At the root of all evil, there is hope

 

There are a lot of ugly people in the world; too bad they look pretty

There are a lot of ugly people in the world; too bad there’s too many

“Sell your soul” he tells us

“I’ll give you gold” he tells us

But is gold worth pain and lust?

 

I’m the root of all the evil in my life; how did I not know

I should remember, memorize all the kind things the world has shown

Someone come and fix me, kiss me, tell me that I’m pretty

But nobody can fix me, or kill me; not until I heal me

At the root of all evil, don’t you know?

At the root of all evil, there is hope

Love and Letters

She's got a view of the city of love

He's got a postcard signed with her heart

She's dressed in money, and he wears grease from his car

She's got wings from high above

He's got bruises from trying to grow up

She cheers a full glass and he's got a half empty cup

The flashing lights dim her mind

Writing to him keeps her from crying

"My love, I miss you so

I'll come back home

To stay with you forever

My dear, I see the moon

I'll see you soon

You're my favorite treasure"

She signs it letter fifty-two

"P.S. It's just another night without you"

She's in another strange bed tonight

He's in familiar sheets with no one to hold

Her room is just a clone, and leaving her heart behind gets old

She wants to share the spotlight

But he's got to work to get a ring

So she has to walk on the red and answer everything

They press her for the details of her life

But a normal man can't have a special wife

"My love, my soul is yours

When I walk through the door

And fall to your precious feet

My dear, my love is true

Only for you

You are my heartbeat"

She signs it from room 202

"P.S. It's just another night without you"

The whole world read about her love affair

He turned the show off; it was too much to bare

He grabbed a piece of paper 

And struggled to write every letter

"My air, I know it can't be true

I bought a ring for you

It's waiting in my pocket

My life, tell me it's a lie, 

The truth can't be denied

You still wear the locket"

He signs it with a tear or two

"P.S. It's just another night without you"

Coffee House

Everyone knows him as the Lord of the Keys

She's got a dream catcher on the rearview in her Chevy

He climbs high in the scales, and the crowd hears what his heart has to say

His soul wishes on stars for love, to desperately fall in a cafe

As he belts the highest note

The strongest phrase in a song he wrote

With him on his knees and his hands up high

A flash of gold caught his eye

That was the moment before he took a bow

He saw her through the window of the coffee house

He could have stopped the show and been done

Or he could have kept playing and left love up to the sun

Silence filled the room as his reputation took a turn for the worst

All he knew was if he let her go, he would be cursed

As a new melody flowed through his head

A sound that said if she leaves, he might as well be dead

His water leaving puddles on the table

He finally calms down to see that he's able

At that moment, before the crowd got too loud

He started a new forever at the table of the coffee house

It was the kind of conversation that lasted forever

It was the kind of beginning that saw an ending never

The kind of giggle that makes cheeks red

The kind of words that are felt, not said

As the crowd walks away displeased

It's obvious she is all he wants to see

When their hands touch just slightly

And they're forced to look away but they're smiling

And at that moment before the next second

For once in their lives, they are able to reckon

That love is ready for them now

All because he saw her through the window of the coffee house

Don't Care Too Much For Me

Don't care too much for me:

I promise not to love and leave,

For if I love, I cannot leave;

Therefore I will not love thee

Don't care too much for me:

With hair curled, and lips lined,

I'm too plastic not too lie;

Your heart's last breath is victim to my crime

If you want to give your heart, don't give it here;

You'll leave cold and lifeless, your soul trembling in fear

You think you're so strong to remove my sword with ease,

But I'll make it a home in your back; Don't care for me

Don't care too much for me: I'll drain your smiles dry to the core,

Drown you, and forget you on the shore;

When you're on fire, I'll be bored

If you want to give your heart, don't give it here;

You'll leave cold and lifeless, your soul trembling in fear

You think you're so strong to remove my sword with ease,

But I'll make it a home in your back; Don't care for me

Don't do it // Don't do it

You're an ocean too deep for my shallow ego

Don't do it // Don't do it

You'll plummet on rocks while I'm on my pillow

If you want to give your heart, don't give it here;

You'll leave cold and lifeless, your soul trembling in fear

You think you're so strong to remove my sword with ease,

But I'll make it a home in your back; Don't care for me

Judas

I called for you // I called out your name

I waited for you // I sat in lightning and rain

I thought the sun would find me,

But only darkness comforted me

I'm playing Judas, oh, I betrayed you

I'm playing Judas, mine's the kiss that killed you

But I'm not that powerful // I'm not that strong

I want to be forgiven, but I feel I'm much too wrong

I cried for you // I cried your name

I waited on you // So you'd wash my sins down the drain

I'd make a wonderful wife

But I'm not worthy of death, so damn me with life

I'm playing Judas, oh, I betrayed you

I'm playing Judas, mine's the kiss that killed you

But I'm not that powerful // I'm not that strong

I want to be forgiven, but I feel I'm much too wrong

I won't feel lonely in the Lord

So why do I feel so lonely, my Lord?

Why do I feel so lonely..?

For Granted

The sky seems like a spec of dust compared to you

I wouldn't dare choose the sun over you

My secrets gravitate toward you

and find comfort in your brutal truth

In a world that would melt by a flame,

You provide music with with a heartbeat

Where egos fly private on planes that have never landed,

Your words are flowers in the ground decorated with compliments I'll never take for granted

If I were to not be able to dream for a night,

I could count on your thoughts to challenge me until we see light

Your words are never hollow

Of my raft of friends, with you I won the lotto

In a world that would melt by a flame,

You provide music with with a heartbeat

Where egos fly private on planes that have never landed,

Your words are flowers in the ground decorated with compliments I'll never take for granted

Volcano

Who broke Mauna Loa's spirit?

She had a heart of love, but now they fear it

Her heart screams comfort, though people leave when they hear it

Now, she roars fire and burns where the tears hit

Miss Mauna Loa, what'd they do to you?

Took advantage of all you would do?

You cashed out all that was safe in your heart, and then they wrote you a bill

They said they'd give you the ocean, but then handed you a cup half filled

Miss Mauna Loa, it's not just you

Miss Mauna Loa, now I'm lava too

Who turned Mauna Loa into red?

If only they'd let her give them life, then they wouldn't be dead

Her worries used to be carried on clouds but now they're made of lead

She wakes up barely able to breathe; wishes she could put her anger to bed

Miss Mauna Loa, what'd they do to you?

Took advantage of all you would do?

You cashed out all that was safe in your heart, and then they wrote you a bill

They said they'd give you the ocean, but then handed you a cup half filled

Miss Mauna Loa, it's not just you

Miss Mauna Loa, now I'm lava too

*Warning*

The dirt is calling me home

To an old life I used to know

With candles dripping love right out of my heart

Burning a trail home so I don't roam too far

I don't love you but I'll kiss you anyway

I don't feel you but touch me anyway

I don't have a heart but I'll break yours any day

I don't have forever so you just run away

The woods are my happy place

With no trails and no trace

Of history to hold me back from being miserable artist

I can't beat a gun with two bare fists

I don't love you but I'll kiss you anyway

I don't feel you but touch me anyway

I don't have a heart but I'll break yours any day

I don't have forever so you just run away

Venus loves Jupiter, but they married their moons

Still better than the story where they died too soon

Better than me and you

I don't love you but I'll kiss you anyway

I don't feel you but touch me anyway

I don't have a heart but I'll break yours any day

I don't have forever so you just run away

He Loves His Girl

Take me to supper in the candlelight

Show me your love through sacrifice

Your words through my hair, and fill my heart

Make me feel as beautiful as a work of art

His hands, strong and safe, take the pain away

His voice, so sincere, I can hear love when he's near

He carries the world for me, he carries me through the world

You won't ever love me like that, the way he loves his girl

I want your words bound in a book

So if I wonder how you love me, I can look

The sun rises and I feel alive

I feel your presence. I know you're on my side

His hands, strong and safe, take the pain away

His voice, so sincere, I can hear love when he's near

He carries the world for me, he carries me through the world

You won't ever love me like that, the way he loves his girl

I just want you to love me even though I'm me

Please love me because I'm me

His hands, strong and safe, take the pain away

His voice, so sincere, I can hear love when he's near

He carries the world for me, he carries me through the world

You won't ever love me like that, the way he loves his girl

Tell-A

What am I doing here?

Living to live or living out of fear?

I breathe because I'm afraid to die

But I sleep all day because I don't want to be alive

I do what I want to 

I think what I want to

If I gave you a reason, it'd be a lie

But what does it matter in the scope of life?

I believe in fire

I believe in clouds and white and a choir

You believe in stillness

There's no truth, it's true, until we feel truth's illness

I do what I want to 

I think what I want to

If I gave you a reason, it'd be a lie

But what does it matter in the scope of life?

You say it's day; I say it's night

But there's always some place that's bright

If we're fighting for the truth,

We forget what's true to me may not be for you

 

I do what I want to 

I think what I want to

If I gave a reason, it'd be a lie

But what does it matter in the scope of life?

This is for Content Independents

What am I doing trying to find love?

Trying to force a rose from a leaf, but that's not what heartbreaks are made of

I'll buy myself a bouquet

Appreciate my own pretty face

Instead of waiting by the phone

Because I'm more than okay on my own

Don't need to pose as someone else'e trophy

I can't say I'm losing sleep over someone who doesn't know how to treat me

I'll two-step all the way

To the midnight screenplay

And laugh at love alone

Because I'm more than okay on my own

I don't have time for daydreams

Full of cliche movie scenes:

Where the two fall in love, fall in hate

Fall in head over heels, throw their lives away

Run across the airport, the country

Skip on the seashore, give up opportunities

It all sounds boring to me

But then again, I've never been swept off my feet

I'll open my own damn door

And dance around my bedroom floor

Listening to music in my headphones

Because I'm more than okay being in love with being alone

Them

When I die alone

Someone let my husband know

I loved him like he loves the mistress;

We got married too quickly, and real love missed us

I did what they asked of me; I did what they'd expect

I'm a blank paper, and they hold the pen

They are them; they are where?

They're in the windows and contaminated air

When I'm no longer awake,

Someone tell my soulmate

I love him always; I love him tender

I got married too soon; life with him would have been better

I did what they asked of me; I did what they'd expect

I'm a blank paper, and they hold the pen

They are them; they are where?

They're in the windows and contaminated air

They are them, and they don't care

You have a question? Don't you dare

They are them; they are where?

They are them; {they're right there}

I did what they asked of me; I did what they'd expect

I'm a blank paper, and they hold the pen

They are them; they are where?

They're in the windows and contaminated air

Society of Ghosts

I don't know who you are, but we talked everyday

You came, and you left before I could moan your name

But I'm used to it...

Yeah, I'm used to it...

I could walk right through you;

Look right past you

Like you look past be

We're unwritten stories of history

I don't know you now, but I know your car

You've got a new candy on your arm

But I'm used to it...

Yeah, I'm used to it...

I could walk right through you;

Look right past you

Like you look past be

We're unwritten stories of history

I stepped on your path and erased my tracks

I gave you my time, and then you took it back

You stepped on my path and erased your tracks

You gave me your time and, then you took it back

I could walk right through you;

Look right past you

Like you look past be

We're unwritten stories of history

Already Dead

You’re holding a bomb and time is about to run out.

We won’t live forever and I’m done waiting around.

I’m not wasting time trying to be your sun when I’ll always be a distant star.

I want to be your ocean but I’m just a puddle getting torn apart by a car. 

 

I would say “Let my hand go,” but you never even reached for it.

I want to blow out what glows, but you never had a candle lit.

Our past is in my head

Our future is already dead.

 

My fighting sword won’t hurt, but yours has poison.

My soul has been pulled below the soil while your spirit is still buoyant.

I’m through letting my eyes water my black roses while you keep your desert dry.

My steps no longer repeat.

I’m on a one way street.

Once I’m gone, I can’t come back; so don’t even try.

 

I would say “Let my hand go,” but you never even reached for it.

I want to blow out what glows, but you never had a candle lit.

Our past is in my head

Our future is already dead.

 

It’s too late to see after the sunset.

It’s too late to sleep after the sunrise.

How arrogant of you to place a bet

Saying I’ll wait around until our next lives.

 

I would say “Let my hand go,” but you never even reached for it.

I want to blow out what glows, but you never had a candle lit.

Our past is in my head

Our future is already dead.

The Real World

She puts on her lipstick

She puts on a smile

She knows that she’s different

The world will make her cry

The people hand her poison that turns to depression

They’ll beat her with a hammer; no “sorry” for their actions

 

What a shame; what a pity

No one tells her that she’s pretty

All too bad; they see no talent

Until she’s fallen on her deathbed 

But that’s the world for you

The real world kills you

 

She plays by their rules

Listens to their lectures

They dress her up a fool

Let her dance around and whip her

Men are afraid to love a schoolgirl with her braids

She’s got love to give, but she’ll never get a date

 

What a shame; what a pity

No one tells her that she’s pretty

All too bad; they see no talent

Until she’s fallen on her deathbed

But that’s the world for you

The real world kills you

 

They put the wrong commandments on a plaque

It’s not what I learned in Mass

“Be on your knees before food”

“Alcohol Afternoon”

“Inject your heart with kindness”

“Inject your arms to impress”

“Love Thyself”

(but we’ll put you through Hell)

 

What a shame; what a pity

No one tells her that she’s pretty

All too bad; they see no talent

Until she’s fallen on her deathbed

But that’s the world for you

The real world kills you

In My Head

No, I don't have the prettiest face,

And you don't miss me on a rainy day

When I walk by, you don't catch my name

But you catch my eye as you walk away

All of it is in my head

That I might be the prettiest girl you met

All my dreams of love are strong and dead

All my dreams of love are in my head

No, I don't wear the prettiest dress,

And I don't care about all the rest

You won't try to change me, I guess

Because you don't notice me; it's for the best

All of it is in my head

That I might be the prettiest girl you met

All my dreams of love are strong and dead

All my dreams of love are in my head

Twirl me around, and you kiss my lips

Dancing around, your hands on my hips

Just in time, right as you dip

I open my eyes, and that was it

It was all in my head; a dream, that's it

All of it is in my head

That I might be the prettiest girl you met

All my dreams of love are strong and dead

All my dreams of love are in my head

The Meaning of Life is 42

Let your heart walk away but stay two steps behind

Empty your wallet before you lose your mind

If you don't live now, you might die before you're dead

If you don't find out, you might die chained to your bed

Be ready to be broken

Leave behind some pieces; someone else will call it a token

Find a flower to fill the void, and whiskey will be the glue

Break yourself to build you brand new

Rise with the sunflowers; sleep with the waterfall

Hunt with compassion; comfort with a drawl

Murder a man miserable; he died too soon

Murder a man happy; he died on cue

Be ready to be empty

Leave room to be filled with stardust and ancient trees

Light a candle in honor of who you were; start a fire for who you'll be

The world is a vacation; home is your body

We'll run away with the universe in our veins

Raise our daughter a gypsy with wisdom in her gaze

Be ready to let go

Leave behind your footprints and every small moment they hold

Fight for the peace chaos demands, and play with the flies that bring stars to earth

Let your soul live serenely so you smile in a hearse

The Life of a Dead Man

Grandpa used to wear boys' clothes

Back when he'd get sand betwixt his toes.

He hadn't seen too many Falls

By the time he had heard his mom's last call. 

His dad taught him to love the green paper;

Said, "If you work hard now, you can live a better life later."

Just keep breathing; just keep smiling

Even when you're grieving; especially when you're lying.

Grandpa received lots of letters

Guaranteeing his life will be better.

A certain flower caught his eye,

But he settled for his wife.

Said, "I love you" since it's in the script

For a so called "relationship."

He loved his income; he had a wife.

Whispered sweetly to his iPhone at night.

He had two kids because he had to.

With a wife, what else are you supposed to do?

Be the poster for all families;

You'll get the promotion and a new deed.

Just keep breathing; just keep smiling

Even when you're grieving; especially when you're bribing.

When grandpa fell, she took him to a hospital room

Because that is what wives are supposed to do.

When doctors talk about him like he's a lamp, we say

       "unplug him" while maybe holding his hands.

I know, I know...we all sound heartless,

But his heart would be put to better use in someone on the list.

I spent my entire life trying not to be Ivan,

But spent my entire life not knowing who I am.

Who am I?... yeah, I forgot...

I just know who I'm not.

Grandpa Ivan, may he rest in peace,

Died at seven; buried at 83.

Just keep breathing, just keep smiling

Even when you're grieving, especially when you're dying...

Imaginary Friend (Hope)

In the darkness of my white, cold youth

I played with Hope like you could see her too.

We played with Barbie's while you played with cigarettes.

I told Hope my secrets and she said "Do not regret."

The sun comes up just like the sun goes down.

You can't touch the stars if your feet are on the ground.

I've grown too old, too old for Hope.

I know, I know I've cut the safety rope.

I've seen too much.

Time to pull the plug.

I wish I was

I child again with Hope and Love

In high school, every day I knew

There's more to the sky than it's just blue.

Hope held onto the sun while I held onto blades,

But you can't put back together damage from a flame.

The sun comes up just like the sun goes down.

Will the sun come up even when the flame burnt out?

I've grown too old, too old for Hope.

I know, I know I've cut the safety rope.

I've seen too much.

Time to pull the plug.

I wish I was

I child again with Hope and Love

I remember back when I played with Hope.

No one could see her, that's how the story goes.

I was so crazy for walking with a light.

Now I'm the lonely one who fell in love with the night.

I've grown too old, too old for Hope.

I know, I know I've cut the safety rope.

I've seen too much.

Time to pull the plug.

I wish I was

I child again with Hope and Love

Loved You in Pencil

You took me to the ocean; what a beautiful view.

Said, "Swim to the bottom; that's how much I love you."

When I got to the bottom, I had no air to breathe,

and you just sat looking, staring at a struggling me.

Then you ask, "What did I do?"

Oh, you did nothing, darling, you did nothing when I needed you.

Why couldn't I have loved you in pencil instead of pen?

Now I have to keep our memories until the end.

I would have loved you in pencil if I could.

If I could erase you, I would.

You showed me all the galaxies; I breathed in stars.

Said, "Go and see the sun; I love you that far."

When I finally met the sun, I was turning to ash,

and you just sat sipping a glass, didn't even spare me a splash.

Why couldn't I have loved you in pencil instead of pen?

Now I have to keep our memories until the end.

I would have loved you in pencil if I could.

If I could erase you, I would.

You took me to the edge of a cliff.

I jumped for you, and you didn't even slip.

Why couldn't I have loved you in pencil instead of pen?

Now I have to keep our memories until the end.

I would have loved you in pencil if I could.

If I could erase you, I would.

Calling all Heroes

I need a hero. Someone to save me from this pain.

Bring me a hero with a cape to save the day.

Tell him to bring me tissues

Erase my issues

To take my scars away.

I need a hero to turn the night to day.

I'm calling all heroes.
This is my call for help.

Calling all heroes.

I don't feel I can save myself.

Are you a hero?

Are you my hero?

I need a hero. Someone to bring me to the sun.

Bring me a hero with the strength of 1,001

Tell me that I'm not wrong.

I can be strong,

That I don't need this gun.

I need a hero. Someone to tell me I'm someone.

I'm calling all heroes.
This is my call for help.

Calling all heroes.

I don't feel I can save myself.

Are you a hero?

Are you my hero?

I'm not just being too sensitive.

My will to live is strong.

I'm not just being too dramatic, or I'm acting.

No, you're the one that's wrong.

This time...

I'll be my own hero.

I hear my call for help.

I'm my own hero.

I have to save myself.

You are your hero.

I'm my own hero.

Dancing by Myself

The way our fingers slip perfectly together

I could feel your hands on me forever

The way the music made us sway

Like the ocean in the day

But the music turned quiet

Your moments became silent

We took the wrong step to the wrong beat

We used to be smooth but we have two left feet

And I remember the nights we let the notes of the lyrics decide our life

And I remember the days we wouldn't say a word, and we'd get lost in our eyes

Every spin around the floor

Always led to something more

I remember the feeling under your spell

Every time I fall dancing by myself

The way my head rested against your shoulder

I would feel warm even when it's colder

The rain splashing on the driveway

I never thought I'd see the day

When the sounds stopped playing and I'd be dancing with the shadows

Of the silhouette I once knew a lifetime ago

And I remember the nights I couldn't find a breath to breathe while you spun me

And I remember the days you lifted me high above the ground so I was free

Every spin around the floor

Always led to something more

I remember the feeling under your spell

Every time I fall dancing by myself

I hold onto my innocent soul

If I let go, I'll never be whole

I mistakingly left you in control

And now I'm stranded in my own sinkhole

The rain falls down

I'm in my favorite gown

The one that flows forever 

When we used to dance together

 

And I remember the nights we let the notes of the lyrics decide our lives

And I remember the days we wouldn't say a word, and we'd get lost in our eyes

Every spin around the floor

Always led to something more

And I remember the nights I couldn't find a breath to breathe while you spun me

And I remember the days you lifted me high above the ground so I was free

Every spin around the floor

Always led to something more

I have a hole in my heart that hurts like Hell

Every time I fall dancing by myself

Beautiful Suicide

Candlelit dinner but the wax dripped on the table.

Lipstick stain on her glass, but he’s feeling stable.

He says “I don’t want to hurt you again

So I’m saying I’ll sometimes be your friend”

    But she knew what she wanted most

    And, oh, she wasn’t about to let him be her ghost.

 

She said:

    Baby, rip me to shreds

    Hurt me until I’m good and dead.

    Make my parents dig my grave.

    No, I’m not afraid of pain.

    I knew from the first time you said “I love you,” you lied.

    But, darling, you’re a beautiful suicide.

 

Stop poking me with needles. Just stab me with a sword!

Good God! You better hurt me until I see the Lord!

Don’t keep one foot out the door.

You’re either all in or all out; nothing less, nothing more.

    But she knew she was going to die

    And, oh, she’d rather fall than be a heartless bride.

    Baby, rip me to shreds

    Hurt me until I’m good and dead.

    Make my parents dig my grave.

    No, I’m not afraid of pain.

    I knew from the first time you said “I love you,” you lied.

    But, darling, you’re a beautiful suicide.

 

Take my soul and spread my ashes on the ground.

Don’t let me live if I’m lost; I’d rather die than be found.

I’ll make my wings out of ashes and drink the blood of my demons.

When you see me, you won’t recognize the girl you’ve been seeing.

Best believe me

I’ll recreate me.

    Baby, rip me to shreds

    Hurt me until I’m good and dead.

    Make my parents dig my grave.

    No, I’m not afraid of pain.

    I knew from the first time you said “I love you,” you lied.

    But, darling, you’re a beautiful suicide.